So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
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