Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
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