My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
not ubering you a puppy
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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