I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
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