halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
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