i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
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