We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
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Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Randomize