Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Randomize