I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
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And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
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I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
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