This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Boobs are out for the taking
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize