My brain says no but my pants say off.
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
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