now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
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We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
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First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
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