I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
This is the high leading the old right now
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
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