Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
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watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
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i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
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