every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
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