legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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