Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I booty called her while she was in labor.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Such a big mess for such a small penis
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
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