you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
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