if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
Randomize