im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
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