i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize