i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
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