I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
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