Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
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