Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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