i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
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Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
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Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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