I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
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