stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize