dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
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Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
So squirting runs in the family.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
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Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
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