haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
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