Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
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The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
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And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
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