so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
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