if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
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