Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
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