belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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