did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
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