How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
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