If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
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