I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
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No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
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He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
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