fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
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It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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