thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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