No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
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