i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
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