she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
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