the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
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It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
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I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
All the doctor said was why
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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