Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
Watching her eat just hurts me
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
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