apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
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