she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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