dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
