I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
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