Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
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