Have you finally orgasmed yet?
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize