I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize